Sunday, September 02, 2007
enjoying a cuppa of Whiskey DryMy ex forced me to tok ... and i refused ...
Coz i dun like to be confronted ...
Coz i tink somethings are nt meant to be discussed anymore
Coz i dun tink there is a need to
Coz i dun like the way he tried by following mi tonite and using hp to msg mi tis n tht
Coz he dunoe the line on when i dun feel comfortable on or nt
Its nt tht i dun wan to treat him as a friend, but the way i can sense frm him.. its like he is still hung up, nt tht i no longer hve feelings or memories about the past. But things tht has been locked up, sometimes its nt gonna b gd to let it out. And for his sake, i prefer to stay clear and hence the refusal to tok ... I dun mind being friends with him, but frm the way he is ... is like he is expecting something and i dun wan him to tink it tht way. I am sorry, i truely am ... But i dun wan to cross the line which he cant denied that was drawn by him. his cruelty in the past done a lot of damages and scars which like i said is meant to be locked up, and also might caused me to sash out. I dun like that, Pushin me like this tonite is something that I am afraid of and disliked .... I dun mind him tok casually throughout the meeting which he din, but yet took the opportunity to follow mi to the bus and den alone with me to tok .... Sorry i cant deal with tht ...
Too tiredzzzz, gonna slp ... Ja
Labels: [blog when you cant scream], [life], [lost words], [past], [ramblings], [reflections], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 9/02/2007 03:37:00 AM
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Ramdom quote of the day :"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
Been crazily bz by some issues of work and work that is being live... nuts when u have the prod database based and try to stimulate it in SIT environment. And when it comes to accounting entry, everything can blow up to many different lvls u cant imagine .. haizzz no choice being hunt dwn by yongmeng,
Anyway had a class gathering planned out juz on saturday itself before i head out to frenz place. It was intended to be bbq cum potluck event and I baked desserts [ blueberry cheesecake & a flourless dark chocolate cake ]. Turn out okay bah. but becoz its an flourless chocolate cake, it is very mushy if place in room temperature for too long, Hence keep in note to fridge it properly. Blueberry cheesecake has the digestive crackers crust which i adore and the choco cake has the oreo crust but a fabulous [ but mushy texture ] dark choco cacao hidden, that i mixed in 3 different chocos content from milk , 72% to 74% choco, using up the full bar and a almond butter frosting [ utterly rich for it is made from scratch from toasting , to blending ]
Oh ya, did see quite a number of ppl in the class gathering and even my ex. Dunnoe wht to say to him, but juz a formality on being accquintances i guess. No choice bah, nt that i still harbour any ill feelings to him but being as it is seems to be the best option. Worse thing was i cant act awkward to him infront of ms J, else once she knew abt mi n him, she will definately smirk on being head on of us together. Blah ..... she n her lovey dovey hubby [ which ling said was 小龙女and 杨郭] and of course nt to mention that she came before trying on her weddin gown ... Blah Blah Blah ... yes i am bitchy, utterly bitchy towards her ... ewww
Blog the whole thing later, lunch ~~~
Labels: [life], [past], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 8/26/2007 01:28:00 PM
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
reading : 医龙K i hve to fess up ... coz i cant bottle it in me anymore ... Yesh Mr G, you are right something did happened but nothing crucial ...
I juz really needed a fren beside me and nt wantin to trouble jo or lvin, I den asked him for some dinner and company as in to chill ... Bad idea ... I knw in the past yr we have distanced ourselves as friends for I tend to be much more cynical abt life and nt wanting to tink as much as before. But still ...
Issue is I been treating him as a gd fren who is always online for mi to fire rants and chat with esp midst of the night, and whom he den tell mi his sad/mediocre stories some funnie some quirks in his life .. And i would soften my heart to give him advice as a fren and him doing the same as both of us are sensitive & rather emotional ... Now with tht issue between us[true in our last conversation, we said nt to tok abt it anymore], i feel it awkward to tok to him anymore. And somehow he too distanced me as a fren. And the fact that he being in an accident, makes mi wan to show concern to him as a friend but find it hard to for I dun wan him to mis-interpret my friendship. Arghzzz why cant things be as simple as it is ...
Pt of me being able to let the incident go coz its was accidental and I guess in some way will never happen again ... and him being a gd friend does matter too ... Toopid mi i knw for jo has been chiding me on what I told him ... Haizzz
Labels: [blog when you cant scream], [life], [lost words], [past], [reflections], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 8/07/2007 02:11:00 PM
Monday, July 30, 2007
to be found at : Timbre
listening to : UnXpected为何成人的世界里，总是那么的复杂？男人和女人是否没有真正的友谊吗？
真得不想想星期五的种种，可是因为把他当成弟弟的我所以不能释怀。
Arghzzz it shouldnt hve become such an incident, and yesh i agredd we not gonna tok abt it ever but its gonna scarred ....
No he din say he like mi, no I dun like him as well but yesh i like him enuff as a fren and as a brother. And he is one of the sweetest guy i knwn for his ex-es and his past relationship and sensitive enuff to care as a fren whom enterained me during my slpless nites in the past. I rmb him being so sweet to a girl he liked in states which he went over to look for her and how i was there tokkin to him regards to his feelings n wht he did. Smoehow i feel responsible abt friday coz i am the older one and i should hve done something abt it.
Labels: [blog when you cant scream], [life], [lost words], [past], [ramblings], [reflections], [resolutons], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 7/30/2007 01:57:00 AM
Monday, July 16, 2007
to be found at : OfficeThis is to target a blog post which was posted by a fren of mine ... in his blog post, he wrote abt this on me
1 gal pal... or a comon term: fag-hag.. had been reading her blog recently.. den i realised how much.. from her text.. how much she had changed.. i'd say for the worse.. n not sure if my deduction is rite... i msged her abt my bday.. she din reply... usually ppl dun reply when they nt keen.. so 1 day, i msn her "so, i take it that u nt keen on the bday party?".. her reply "oh ya, i haven reply u yet"..
i knw she'd changed.. a lot.. within 1 yr.. i can oni deduce that.. she was surprised i invited her to my bday, cos we din tok for a yr.. n decided nt to reply... cos it'd b tat, it's a general msg tat's mass-sent to ppl.. she duno whether i really mean it anot.. having nto toked for so long, she dun wan to accept it, in case i really din mean the invi n she may feel awkward in coming.. but when i msn her, she knew i really meant it.. sincerely inviting her.. so she decided tat she shld go if she can (IT ppl usually scared of last min stuff popping up). wat's more, given her nature n sensitivity n treasuring of frnship, i knw tat she very likely will agree... why? cos, last yr, she was... if i rmb rite, the first 1 to msg mi at 12am on my bday.. around there.. wishing mi happy bday. tat was during our "no-tok" period. it showed how much she treasured frnship.. n the fate
umm, n i think she still read my blog from time to time.. think she'll see tis..
Let me reply this here ... you never knw me from the start, u dunoe who i am frm the start ... u were always the one who needs understanding and i was there conveniently to hlp but never since u actually put an effort on knwin who i am ... Wht are my exact thots ... Who I actually am ... Wht I actually believe ... only though things and actions den u realise what i can do for ppl and for you and aso conveniently like others let it settled ..
I changed becoz i hve to change, i had to go through a lot of things in the past 1 yr. Which since when did u EVER concerned abt or even informed abt ?? How dare u even judge abt my change when I needed frenz support or guidance the most, u were nowhere in SIGHT at all ????
Dun tell mi any bull-shit of you not knowin hence unable to do so, SINCE WHEN DID U EVEN CHECK counting from lets say the day i got back from auzzie ?? I can give u a count ... less than 5 phone calls. Thts it .. so come on, lets nt be so coy when things aint wht u tink it is ... for i might knw u, u knw nothing of me.
let me juz say something wht Scorpios are " 天蝎座的人，翻脸如翻书。"
Labels: [blog when you cant scream], [life], [lost words], [past], [ramblings], [reflections], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 7/16/2007 03:57:00 PM
Thursday, July 05, 2007
slurping up a bowl of Reese White Chocolate Peanut ButterCupsTinkin of sharing this story ... I really wonder what i hve done in my past for this life den ?
世五百年的回眸才换来今生的擦肩而过
佛说：前世五百年的回眸才换来今生的擦肩而过
这句话是从这个故事来的吧：
有个年轻美丽的女孩，出身豪门，家产丰厚，又多才多艺，日子过得很好。媒婆也快把她家的门槛给踩烂了，但她一直不想结婚，因为她觉得还没见到她真正想要嫁的那个男孩。 直到有一天，她去一个庙会散心，于万千拥挤的人群中，看见了一个年轻的男人，不用多说什么，反正女孩觉得那个男人就是她苦苦等待的结果了。 可惜，庙会太挤了， 她无法走到那个男人的身边，就这样眼睁睁的看着那个男人消失在人群中。 后来的两年里，女孩四处去寻找那个男人，但这人就像蒸发了一样，无影无踪
女孩每天都向佛祖祈祷，希望能再见到那个男人.她的诚心打动了佛祖，佛祖显灵了。佛祖说：“你想再看到那个男人吗？” 女孩说：“是的！我只想再看他一眼！” 佛祖：“你要放弃你现在的一切，包括爱你的家人和幸福的生活。” 女孩：“我能放弃！” 佛祖：“你还必须修炼五百年道行，才能见他一面。你不后悔么？” 女孩：“我不后悔！”
女孩变成了一块大石头，躺在荒郊野外，四百多年的风吹日晒，苦不堪言，但女孩都觉得没什么，难受的是这四百多年都没看到一个人，看不见一点点希望，这让她都快崩溃了。最后一年，一个采石队来了，看中了她的巨大，把她凿成一块巨大的条石，运进了城里，他们正在建一座石桥，于是，女孩变成了石桥的护栏。就在石桥建成的第一天，女孩就看见了，那个她等了五百年的男人！ 他行色匆匆，像有什么急事，很快地从石桥的正中走过了，当然，他不会发觉有一块石头正目不转睛地望着他。
男人又一次消失了，再次出现的是佛祖。佛祖：“你满意了吗？” 女孩：“不！为什么？为什么我只是桥的护栏？如果我被铺在桥的正中，我就能碰到他了，我就能摸他一下！” 佛祖：“你想摸他一下？那你还得修炼五百年！” 女孩：“我愿意！” 佛祖：“你吃了这么多苦，不后悔？” 女孩：“不后悔！”
女孩变成了一棵大树，立在一条人来人往的官道上，这里每天都有很多人经过，女孩每天都在近处观望，但这更难受，因为无数次满怀希望的看见一个人走来，又无数次希望破灭。不是有前五百年的修炼，相信女孩早就崩溃了！日子一天天的过去，女孩的心逐渐平静了，她知道，不到最后一天，他是不会出现的。又是一个五百年啊！最后一天，女孩知道他会来了，但她的心中竟然不再激动。来了！他来了！他还是穿着他最喜欢的白色长衫，脸还是那么俊美，女孩痴痴地望着他。这一次，他没有急匆匆的走过，因为，天太热了。他注意到路边有一棵大树，那浓密的树荫很诱人，休息一下吧，他这样想。他走到大树脚下，坐着树根，微微的闭上了双眼，他睡着了。女孩摸到他了！他就坐在她的身边！但是，她无法告诉他，这千年的相思。她只有尽力把树荫聚集起来，为他挡住毒辣的阳光。千年的柔情啊！男人只是小睡了一刻，因为他还有事要办，他站起身来，拍拍长衫上的灰尘，在动身的前一刻，他抬头看了看这棵大树，又微微地抚摸了一下树干，大概是为了感谢大树为他带来清凉吧。然后，他头也不回地走了！就在他消失在她的视线的那一刻，佛祖又出现了。
佛祖：“你是不是还想做他的妻子？那你还得修炼……” 女孩平静地打断了佛祖的话：“我是很想，但是不必了。” 佛祖：“哦？” 女孩：“这样已经很好了，爱他，并不一定要做他的妻子。” 佛祖：“哦！” 女孩：“他现在的妻子也像我这样受过苦吗？” 佛祖微微地点点头。女孩微微一笑：“我也能做到的，但是不必了。” 就在这一刻，女孩发现佛祖微微地叹了一口气，或者是说，佛祖轻轻地松了一口气。女孩有几分诧异，“佛祖也有心事么？” 佛祖的脸上绽开了一个笑容：“因为这样很好，有个男孩可以少等一千年了，他为了能够看你一眼，已经修炼了两千年。”
佛曰：前世五百次的回眸才换得今世的擦肩而过 那么，我的前世是积攒了多少次的回眸啊，才换得与你相识相知？虽然这是一个古老的故事，但是我相信还是能打动很多人的心！因为首先他打动了我！
Labels: [blog when you cant scream], [fortune], [life], [lost words], [past], [reflections], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 7/05/2007 02:07:00 PM
Sunday, June 24, 2007
video of the day : Timmy! - Gei Wo QianI just realise ... I have no close frenz from my past ..
well not anymore ... I guess the closer i am to them , the higher the standards i rise the bar for them. Hence in the end, i would push them away from me becoz of the bar i put up. True it is unfair for them, for they are never placing any standards of me to reach their level to be close pals ..
But i guess becoz I am always willing to put my foremost and upfront for them, and expect them to do the same for me. Hmzzz mayb i am juz destinated to be a loner ...
The following content is gonna hurt a particular person badly, coz i am and will be brutally frank and crudely mean.
[This does not include a particular person that I was utterly disappointed with recently. That particular some1 made mi lost faith in whatever things that she/he and I been through in the past. in fact, that particular one had actually complaint such actions of another to me b4 and yet she/he did the same thing to me. If that particular person is reading this and feeling unfair abt my accusations. I shall list down why
1) She/he is the 1st person i actually told that incident abt, and he/her being my confident, I thot he/she will understand how miserable i am.
2) She/he knwin my bahaviour and character, require time to digest incidents that happened. Tht period i was so down i juz shut myself dwn in my room in the dark for days. My mum den got worried, called that particular person up to ask for hlp. Though she/he did called mi up to check, but the reason is due to my mum's call. And yet still chose to believe that nothing went wrong.
3) After that, she/he din even bother to ask any further for it is out of mind, out of sight. That kind of shows how irrelevant my feelings and I am to her/him.
4) I cried nxt to that person for hlf an hr or so, and she/he din knw anything abt it
I have more if i wan to continue to persist, so tell mi how do i actually restore my trust in he/her ?
Yesh call mi mean, petty or bitchy, but i juz gonna repeat wht i said b4, if that particular person were in my shoes, imagine what else would i hve done ?
In fact, I might even killed that guy juz to fucking make sure my friend wouldnt be hurt again, or at least make sure he tasted his own medicine.
Are the things that i dne b4 not enuff or too much that I was taken for granted again n again? Does amy1 knw how fuckin hurt i was when my closest confide did this to me , given the trust i have on he/her ??????? In what position does the particular person even qualify to sms mi on how i am ? Stop being hypocritical. Hell, issit too late to even ask how i am now ? ]
Labels: [blog when you cant scream], [life], [lost words], [past], [ramblings], [reflections], [resolutons], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 6/24/2007 05:54:00 AM
Saturday, June 02, 2007
watching : Gilmore Girls Season Finale 7x22Listening to my ipod while travellin home ... thot of these 2 songs while i adore and will touch chords within me ... Shall share the lyrics now
- << 陈庆祥 - 哭 >> »
- << 阿杜 - 天黑 >> »
Labels: [life], [lost words], [lyrics], [past], [reflections], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 6/02/2007 03:26:00 AM
Ramdom quote of the day :"If you love someone more then anything then distance matters only to the mind not the heart."
my old passport photos vs my current passport photo
wahhh my golly .... The difference btw 10 yrs hahahah
Labels: [image], [life], [past]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 6/02/2007 03:09:00 AM
Monday, May 14, 2007
Ramdom quote of the day :"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?"
Did some toopid things while watching 热情仲夏
seems tht i looks like the following hehehe
Boy am i flattered ..
Anyway, remember my ex company, which my department sux to the core ... but the ppl (except boss ) are great ... rmb at our last day, we celebrate Amelia's bday in office
juz of recent(well 1 mth lah but i forgot to update abt tis even i post pics in my photobucket), we went out for dinner ... this is the after pic ~~~
heheh different hair style somemore me when it is onli like 5 mths away ... hahaha Ja
Labels: [image], [life], [past], [reflections]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 5/14/2007 04:10:00 PM
Friday, May 11, 2007
Ramdom quote of the day :"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
got a call from NbyN ( naughty by nature ), said they hve a free makeover for mi, and with no obligations ..
i was there being skeptical, but was tinkin wht the heck ...
luckily i rmb to do a google search on them, heheh yah din get cheated and wasted my time there ..
but still brought my clothes along with mi .. so tinkin wht to do with them later
should i go chong since i brought my nice dress along, but no makeup though
or should i juz go hme n rot ( well i can go run )
or should i go pamper myself with some manicure n pedicure .. hmzzzzz
hehehehe .
Will be gettin my previous spree items soon, esp my polo , bums
too bad my miss bad tee went oos else i hve 3 new items on hand ..
so for mr wan, he will receive his polo n 2 tees ..
Labels: [desires], [Got], [image], [past], [spree]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 5/11/2007 01:24:00 PM
Thursday, March 29, 2007
slurping up a slice of Papayaan apology received ...
do somebody really tink that it is enuff to let things be ... nt tht i expected anything to be done frankly speakin or is there anything somebody can do to actually change or hlp to heal ( in a way ) betrayal or action or tht scar ...
within the msg, somebody said about reflecting on her actions and wht she has done ..
but frankly speakin, lets do some maths ..
from the past till now, tis is wht upteenth times tht somebody juz took it as it is for granted ..
and frm den, we still managed to struggle through for they are juz minor stuffs .. no pt harpin on things tht is irrelevant ..
but to tink of it, how is the issue i encountered recently not major enuff to consider my feelings ?
is it oni death tht will make somebody see hey she is gone .. "oh no .. i should hve consider abt her feelings more .... "
i dun like being taken for granted and i do try my very best not to esp to ppl who are close ...
it is nt juz the 1st time, and frm then nothing much seems to change ... so tell mi how in any way is tis apology sincere or in any way i should accept it ?
u may call mi petty, but i am juz stating wht is logical
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 3/29/2007 06:53:00 PM
Saturday, March 24, 2007
to be found at : The LoofHow can I open my heart to the person whom claimed to b the closest and yet is the only among all to neglect or ignorant on how i felt these past few days when i need some company, consoling and comforting the most ....
Even though the phone, i did mentioned abt how bad i felt abt tht sat nite, yet there is none response to follow up on me bein alrite or nt ...
Even by the side , i was cryin silently due to the fact tht i am still traumatized, but it seems tht onli after it was noticed when we abt to leave ... How close can tht be or more of how much understandin is within or wht make i of ....
I juz couldnt open my mouth to say how i feel, i tried to let tht be, by being available for drinks . but i basically could onli shut dwn, as i was quite devastated for wht am i worthy of .. and wht was being done and not done ... and for tht, i couldnt feel that she is able to relate to mi or she is juz too pre-occupied of an excuse to neglect a fren in need and not be considerate abt how traumatized the fren felt after such an incident happened ...
u can call mi cruel or unkind, but if the role is bein reversed .. please que urself wht would i do instead for u if u were in my shoes ?
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 3/24/2007 02:38:00 AM
Friday, March 23, 2007
Ramdom quote of the day :"If you love someone more then anything then distance matters only to the mind not the heart."
I wonder is there such a thing abt being too late for concerns when the moment of needing company n support is over ...
or is it bein too occupied with work able to justify everything of life that it is excusable enuff to ignore others' moments of pain and neglect others' feelings ...
or is it that i am juz an excuse or outlet to vent off steam and resentments of others ...
or am i juz taken for granted tht i be okay and juz as it is convenient to get in touch when possible or preferred ..
am i being too cruel or unfair to say this ?
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 3/23/2007 04:07:00 PM
Monday, January 29, 2007
Ramdom quote of the day :"If you take the easy road, your considered lazy, if you take the hard road, your considered crazy, which one do you pick?"
I pick crazy anyday anytime ... Been workin in the company durin the weekends .. Hve to rush back for my deadline ... Though i hve to work extra for my work to reach deadline, i realise i am much happier than before than my previous company. Kinda of remind mi of my last semester which i will go head dwn to sch as and when i free like regardless of time .. but the onli drag comin back is of the long long journey ... I hve to take a bus from my place, the MRT dwn and den walk for a gd 10mins (considering my walkin spd) den i reach my company ...
K k i should hve consider this when i apply for this job, but still i dun mind .. i get to stroll and enjox my day so nt tht bad ... Anyway back to my weekend, time flies really fast when u r bz huh ... tht is wht happens to me when i was doin my codin ... from 3++ to 10++, everything seems to be a breeze ... nt tht i mind which i hve my trust mp3 in my workstation in office ( heheeh ), but kinda of remind mi the times tht i was still up and awake in the comp sci labs ard 3-4am in the morning .. which i would call the security to give mi a ride to erica ( of course i would fake tht i am a erica hostel student ) and den secretly strot my way back from erica to my rental. But the company is different which most of my colleagues aint all fun-loving than my dearie uni friends .. Oh well .. yesh i am tinkin back of my past again .. tsk tsk
Well hve to say, it is time liao .. finally A got over me .. see i hve tis tracker in my blog, which actually managed to track visitors ip addr and system statistics .. and from my logs, A's visits has lessen dramatically. When the relationship was over den, he broke my heart and soul really tht bad tht i thot i couldnt forgive him in some way. Times just flies, and the hurt lessen and also the ties were gone .. When i last saw him in the weddin, my head is full of other stuffs. It was den i knew everything is over and everything is to come to the end. Though we hve crossed paths in many ways we cant imagine, but it was finally time for both of us to go on separate ways. Well I knw i hve all along, alone but stronger. I knw i can survive, i knw i can be happier, i knw i am better .. Hehehe what am i ramblin abt ... Back to work now =)
Labels: [jobs], [life], [past], [reflections], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 1/29/2007 10:19:00 AM
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Ramdom quote of the day :" How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?"
Upon typing tis post, i am wonderin ..Who am i to you ?.. Wht type of image do i post to you? Am i juz as common as a passerby of your life or am i something else different?. If one day, i will to vanish from mid air, how would tht impact to your life or will i even be noticed tht i am missing ? Will you be indifferent with my presense or my absense ? How do i affaect your life in any ways ? Can you vividly recall any of us ? And will it tally with any of your frenz with the image of mi in you ? click to read more »
Labels: [past], [reflections], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 12/10/2006 09:21:00 AM
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Ramdom quote of the day :"If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it."
At Work now, goin through some chat logs I have in my pc.
Tinking of my past and tinkin of the recent yrs. Seems like my life is full of twists and turns, though I do not hve emphany moments like cin on life and death and family, nor do I come across marriage , relationships and emotional turmoils. But still comparing the life I had b4 I fly over to perth and after which I started out working after my bachelor, everything has changed.
Family wht can I say I adore my sister to bits, and she too knws tht I lurve her. Though it wasn’t tht gd for my parents but hey my focus on my sister, tht is wht matters.
A whole new different circle of friends I hve now from different ethics, countries, languages , borders and culture. I gain knowledge about africa , indonesia , marithus , hk , thai, malaysia , taiwan , china , vietnam , brunai and also my social circle. Which I can say alcohol & music are quite powerful and widely used to knw ppl ... :p
Den come back to my past, my friends and ex-es and my family. The crucial players remains like my best friends and family. But everything changes including me , them and environment.
Sometimes I do reflect was my decision to further the corrrect one, and most of the time when I do thot of tht que I would remind myself am I a happier person than b4 or do I just look better than b4 and disguising myself well enuff than before. Did he really did lurve mi b4 as do i lurve him b4 and yet if both of us did, den y do our heart got shattered in the end ...
Ah well, shall stop here bye
Labels: [past], [reflections]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 10/31/2006 10:48:00 AM
Friday, October 27, 2006
Ramdom quote of the day :" Why do people say, 'you've been working like a dog' when dogs just sit around all day?"
One more day before i have to say i am 24, bugger cin has been naggin abt it since the start of her bday. Her constant reminder that i am goin 24 is haunting mi so bad tht i decide to do my multiple facial tonite to pamper myself in preparation for my final day. Haizzz no longer can i say i am younger than cin, blah blah blah ...
anyway que to every1 here who reads my blog, do you feel extremely lonely esp when it comes near to your bday ? Even if u are surrounded by tons of frenz, or even family , do you feel empty inside your heart ? I knw i am, every yr tis time i would. As though as i am masked and heart is closed and immuned to everything .. Dunnoe is it me or does every1 else too feel the same ?Or am I the odd one out from the rest, coz I knw I am bred out of insecurities and unsureness of myself. Though I might act confident and have an area of high self esteem, I knw deep inside me I am juz a fluke and a commoner among the crowd…
Haizzz anyway been reading through my blogs for the past 3 yrs.
2003 , 2004 , 2005
Been through a lot, from sweet moments of 2003 to a emotional roller coaster at 2004 and a warm month surrounded by tons of frenz except for a bunch of few ppl. Sort of reminiticising the moment
2004 bday was celebrated by my frenz who had a surprise bday party within my house. Which we had cake, drinks and also company by housemates and coursemates. Actually they had planned it the day b4 the actual day which I was rushin for my cg and spd assignment which I hve yet slept for more than 24 hrs. Hence was in need of slp, which I juz drown myself with white wine and locked myself in my room for peace, which they did get the signal of not disturbing and delayin the celebration to my actual day itself. Which the nxt day ard evening ( after a mini shoppin spree on myself at carousel) during dinner I was surprised by a knock on my door and a cake appeared. Turned out was my old housemates and mr J got me a cap and some chocos ( ohh I so miss Halloween in au).
Which last yr was a harvest yr, I had 2 cakes from my frenz and loads of food and pressies. Richie and ben got mi a espirit bag and a dinner at Han’s BBQ , fenty and reza got mi a pair of fluzzy elmo slippers, I got myself a facial set , lash therapy from estee lauder, a japan gd luck hp chain from cin … yumzzz
Labels: [past], [reflections]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 10/27/2006 10:21:00 AM
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Ramdom quote of the day :"Love is like heaven but hurts like hell. "
Juz came back frm my poly gathering .. met up with a bunch of ppl who indeed had great fun with .. Aso met up with my ex, din tok to him much or even communiate for i find no longer a need to nor even a common topic to ..
wht can i say .. To come tink of it, if den we have yet broken up, i wouldnt have change and harden to the person i am now. I wouldnt have encounter so much and grow so much. with my attitude for life and my lifestyle it seems like it might be a better choice for him, juz like it is for mi.
Aso had a small bday celebration during the dinner for peiling n mi. and the cake was from swisstol walnut cheesecake, a cake which brings memories on the past and something tht i have not taste for ages .. well it is really forbidden as well for the fat content and carbo is so high tht i wish to slit my throat ... The cake as i said brought memories for tht cake was the one which both of us adore and used to share during our getaway.. After tht, it was a promise on him buyin it again to share and enjox it, upon cuttin the cake i thot of how we used to be a couple ... and how we used to be comfortable ard each other company . But everything was destroyed so the past is the past huh ... no pt keep harpin on it even though how memorable or precious it might be for it was part of ur life ..
Labels: [past], [reflections]
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 10/22/2006 12:04:00 AM
Monday, September 25, 2006
Ramdom quote of the day :"Can you get cornered in a round room?"
[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 9/25/2006 06:31:00 PM
