Sunday, June 24, 2007
video of the day : Timmy! - Gei Wo Qian
I just realise ... I have no close frenz from my past ..
well not anymore ... I guess the closer i am to them , the higher the standards i rise the bar for them. Hence in the end, i would push them away from me becoz of the bar i put up. True it is unfair for them, for they are never placing any standards of me to reach their level to be close pals ..
But i guess becoz I am always willing to put my foremost and upfront for them, and expect them to do the same for me. Hmzzz mayb i am juz destinated to be a loner ...
The following content is gonna hurt a particular person badly, coz i am and will be brutally frank and crudely mean.
[This does not include a particular person that I was utterly disappointed with recently. That particular some1 made mi lost faith in whatever things that she/he and I been through in the past. in fact, that particular one had actually complaint such actions of another to me b4 and yet she/he did the same thing to me. If that particular person is reading this and feeling unfair abt my accusations. I shall list down why
1) She/he is the 1st person i actually told that incident abt, and he/her being my confident, I thot he/she will understand how miserable i am.
2) She/he knwin my bahaviour and character, require time to digest incidents that happened. Tht period i was so down i juz shut myself dwn in my room in the dark for days. My mum den got worried, called that particular person up to ask for hlp. Though she/he did called mi up to check, but the reason is due to my mum's call. And yet still chose to believe that nothing went wrong.
3) After that, she/he din even bother to ask any further for it is out of mind, out of sight. That kind of shows how irrelevant my feelings and I am to her/him.
4) I cried nxt to that person for hlf an hr or so, and she/he din knw anything abt it
I have more if i wan to continue to persist, so tell mi how do i actually restore my trust in he/her ?
Yesh call mi mean, petty or bitchy, but i juz gonna repeat wht i said b4, if that particular person were in my shoes, imagine what else would i hve done ?
In fact, I might even killed that guy juz to fucking make sure my friend wouldnt be hurt again, or at least make sure he tasted his own medicine.
Are the things that i dne b4 not enuff or too much that I was taken for granted again n again? Does amy1 knw how fuckin hurt i was when my closest confide did this to me , given the trust i have on he/her ??????? In what position does the particular person even qualify to sms mi on how i am ? Stop being hypocritical. Hell, issit too late to even ask how i am now ? ]
Labels: [blog when you cant scream], [life], [lost words], [past], [ramblings], [reflections], [resolutons], [thots]
[ - 雯'§ - ]
penning down @
6/24/2007 05:54:00 AM