Okie okie not to mention to those whom i am super close to like cin .. but am i not a simple person ( at tis moment i can virtually hear cin shakin her head as she reads ) tsk tsk so many faces so many identities so many different thots ... i always hve a habit on showin ppl wht type wan to see, never a moment i give it to myself.. in fact i was once asked tis que, who are you infact and do you knw the person in you? Are you comfortable with the person in you? i hve no ideas on how to answer of such que .. nor am i capable to .. irony as it seems as much as a controllin freak i am, i cant control my own thots .. tht explains how superficial i am to others and even to myself ..

Mayb one day i juz go crank up the volume and be gone... Juz leave everything behind as it speaks and let nature takes it own course .. i hve no1 tht would seriously missed my pressense anyway. I am juz a passerby anyway. Leaving imprints is never a familiar chore, for i am juz as extra as it is ..

haizz scary thots ritez , as demoralizing as it is .. tis is exactly how i feel everyday. everyday when i wake up, i will force smile to myself in the mirror. tellin myself it will be a better day today and everyday it will be juz the same old routine same old ppl same old life .. bored out of it .. bored out of life , bored out of things .. everyday seems to be a drag , nothing to pen for, long for , feel for. As though as i am juz an emotionless corpse goin through motion and being force-jump to every thing everyday. Jumpstart to every small details of life.. nt tht i am different but i juz dun wish to view things as the same perspective juz as others .. too boring too blank .. ah well i ran out of words to describe ....

As i was typin tis, i come to realise too many secrets too many burden .. too many burden too many melanshily .. life is juz as complicated as it is, is actually nt very complicated huh .. as in juz how u take it as a pinch of salt at a time.. neber expect too much or u be disappointed. neber feel hurt if u neber happy b4 .. juz be contented... but is it ever enuff ? i knw i can never be happy unless my secrets are all out, but tht is never possible ... my life ties dwn too many secrets tht even her even him even every1 doesnt knw .. Pathetic as it seems i juz need to go away from everything .. but nevertheless cant but hopin away as the route never ends ....

*shrugs .. emphiany moment, emphiany thots .
Basically at tis post, thots are too ramdom .. feelings are juz too abstract .. nothing more nothing less .. « hide the crap