and even when i was like 20 - 21 .. i have a few guys who are close to me .. and she will say find bf for wht .. still young should study more and yaddah yaddah .. she will den pick and pick on the bad points on the guys whom i was close to and den complained tis and complained tht ..

now in my icq chat with her ... tis is wht she says
wml (10:07 PM) :
you found a boy friend
|òvêlësss® (10:07 PM) :
.....
wml (10:08 PM) :
why, you should start nw
|òvêlësss® (10:08 PM) :
....
wml (10:08 PM) :
have any person want to know you
|òvêlësss® (10:09 PM) :
....
wml (10:10 PM) :
better found one of the singaporean student at aust.
|òvêlësss® (10:10 PM) :
..... arghzzz
wml (10:12 PM) :
have any person want to met friend with you there
|òvêlësss® (10:12 PM) :
pls lor .... can change topic or nt
wml (10:12 PM) :
better soon , this age action a bit
|òvêlësss® (10:13 PM) :
.................
wml (10:13 PM) :
other too old to find boyfriend, is true
|òvêlësss® (10:13 PM) :
* i wan to faint liao
wml (10:14 PM) :
my relative son married same age
|òvêlësss® (10:14 PM) :
so ?? nt my business
wml (10:15 PM) :
the parent very young tooo....
|òvêlësss® (10:15 PM) :
SOOOOO ??
wml (10:18 PM) :
if the level you feel ok, just slowly to develop slowly........

I MEAN wht the hell ... juz within hlf a yr, u were there pickin on ppl bad pts ... and discouraging me and etc .. now u tell mi u wan mi to find a BF ... ARLOW .... something wrong ritez?
okie in a logical way, true i long for being with some1 .. but sometimes when i reflect upon myself on everything tht i gone through .. actually i feel very tired ... i am a person who dun trust ppl easily .. in fact i am very suspicious of everyone ... i once trusted some1 so deeply tht in the end i got hurted .. due to tht, it made mi more unwillingly to trust .. or to even believe in ppl easily ... makin it a hard way to live ..
wanting yet nt willing ...
frm young, i was a loner .. i go for recess alone when i was like a kid and up to a stage my primary sch teachers start complainin on me being too quiet .. becoz of tht complaint, i changed to become more chatty not due to mi really chatty but to keep my teachers off my back ..
My parents had to work very late everynite, so i dun get to spend time with them after school, always alone at home watchin tv or doin homework
mayb tht was wht made me who i am ... while my parents are at work, i hve to be responsible for my own work, meals and even feelings .. makin mi a very defensive person ... i was forced by myself to enjox being solitude and even once believed that i can be an island
As i grow up, due to the pretense i hve to put on.. i grew another character tht is chatty and jovial .. nt tht i am really am .. but due to the society i had to be like tis (thus i hate hyprocite coz i knw how sickenin it feels) ..
knwing tht is nt gd, i chose to be frank .. speak whtever comes in mind and do wht i tink is correct ... thus to me being close to some1 is something tht i desired and afraid of ...
true, i am afraid of being lonely .. thus i desire company ... but due to a lot of factors i hve to be lonely hence i hve to tolerate it and forced myself to be lonely ... and it gets harder and harder ... okie .. stop abt tis ... back to topic of my mum ..

what i wish to reply her is nt tht i dun wan a bf .. but more of the below reasons
1 ) no one wan mi
2 ) i hve to concentrate on my studies
3 ) my heart cant tolerate anymore heartache ... its too freakin painful for mi to endure like tis
4 ) my heart is still shattered
5 ) though i dun like to be lonely, i hve to be

too long of a post liao .. cya « hide the crap