the fear came to me .. coz juz i am afraid i am like her .. though nt exactly like her but i am afraid .. coz the last heartbreak .. really broke me ... broke my whole perceptive of love ... its like i want to love .. but afraid of wht it might hurt .. and tht i am struggling ... i am afraid i am startin to doubt the existence of it now ... coz it din bring mi happiness but endless pain ..
some might say tht is a risk u hve to take , coz every great thing comes with a risk ...
but the last risk i took, shattered how i was .. as in i thought i could really be happy and with tht particular guy it could last .. but yet it din
with tht my belief in love has really gone ..
i always self-protrayed tht i am strong individual with a strong character and will always stand still whenever i need to .. but yet tht blow really left mi with nothing to believe in .. my life, my love , my beliefs ...
frm tht last time, i actually saw myself changed .
i lost like a craze load of weight , my attitude for life, my attitude to work , my everything ..
and i am actually afraid tht i am losing me .. and startin to doubt myself ... is tht rite ?
i dunnoe .. i juz sometimes things juz happened for a reason ..
anyway recently been holding loads of paper cranes .. for each lonely nite, i hve a sweet in my mouth .. and for each sweet i eat, i fold a paper crane ... been possessed with folding correct precised symmetried paper cranes ..
and i hve a total of 10 ... wonder by the end of the mth, how many will i hve ... lolzzz
long nite ahead ... printer ink no more .. need to go and buy them .. thus tml need to go sch early morning to print my notes and study them for my upcoming lecturers b4 i go buy ... « hide the crap