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Saturday, February 19, 2005
 
today was at nus watchin a dance production ...
not bad .. very musical ansd very nice bods here n there ... consisting of guys and gals ... so yah

went to meet some1 who i hve no qualms of meetin at all .. y ?
i admit i was once very hung over ... by out of love with him ...
but after tht incident during october ... my heart was shattered ...
nt say ashattered ... but everything was lost den ...
it is an irony now when i faced the person whom i once lost my heart to .. and how much i thot i felt ..
at tht moment ... when i face to him .. i felt nothin .. no emotions .. no hatred .. no nothing ...
i thot i will hate him .. i thot i will despise him .. yet nothing can to me ...
all i was facing is a stranger .. whom i dun wish to be in touch with ...
his questions invades my life .. for each question asked by him ...
each of his comments hve nothin to do with my future is wht i had in mind ...

for example, he asked me how my new yr ... was it okie .. i replied juz like tht lor .
den he tried to use a cheeky manner to ask is my hong pao money juz as low ..
i replied .. one can oni look towards the future , and not keep dweelin at the past ...
just like i am .. so wht the money is less ... it is just the past ...
just like wht i tink abt me and him ... we will never be friends .. i can never give my friendship who hit me hard when i was low ... and no friend of mine will do tht .. he done tht .. thus he will not be my friend ..

once i was so in love, gave my heart away ... broke down so many times during the break ... now yet so cold ..
it is now so funnie to me ..actually after watchin the dance production, was walkin down the road to the cheese prata shop ... while walkin and talkin to my fren .. i saw him at one of the bus stop alreadi .. at tht moment, i knw i wasnt the gal in the past ... i grown up ... grown up frm the pain i reflected on myself ...
while den , i told my fren .. how much i dun wan to see him .. coz i see of no pt on knwin him ... and even keepin in touch ... but yet i kept in mind wht cin said ... let him say wht he wants and den let him knw wht u wan to do ..
thus i did .. i went .. durin the whole moment .. i was so not bothered .. not becoz of anger nor hatred .. juz see nothing tht makes mi wan to continue ... not with him as frenz ... he even commented tht my mood was not very well .. but i replied calmyly .. it is not the mood issue .. but of something else .. and he asked wht is it abt .. i replied .. it is of something tht both of us knws ( xin zhi du ming )
after i got my dinner .. i said i wanted to leave .. and i did .. but b4 tht i told him he is no longer my fren ... n left juz like tht .. am i tht cold .. mayb i am .. coz i see of nothing tht can warms my heart ... one can oni hurt mi so much tht i abandon them .... i dunnoe is tht a hint of sadness in his voice .. but he did say do take care ...
her comes the funnie part .. when i heard it .. without lookin back .. i pted my middle finger back to him and continued to walk ... and tht the whole thing ....

i am still the girl who started the blog .. but my mentality has changed tht i hve closed my heart ... thus no one can really hurt mi tht much ... anyway mr J's gf at his place now .. hope he gets lucky tonite .. hahahaha
yes i still like mr J ... but i wan him to happy ... mayb tht is juz a lil crush .. but still yah .. =p ..
anyway tht ends for tonite .. tok later


[ - 雯'§ - ] penning down @ 2/19/2005 12:34:00 AM

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sans amour .. mir ist einsam.....






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