Tuesday, March 16, 2004
i told u before i need no apology ..
y ? y din u tell mi ? i knw i am in the wrong for not supporting you , but i am not angry at you .. i never was , i might be complaining but i was never angry at you on takin the pills , coz i knw women like everyone would do all sorts of means to make ourselves prettier and more beautiful than we are ..
during the week i came , i waited for your sms ... hopefuly you would reply .. tinkin hey , maybe the sms was being delayed or something .. but still no sms .... i was loss lor .. i dunnoe wht had happened to you lor .. my mum keep askin how is you ? y u din come .. i keep puttin a false front to say she might slept late and everythin to deceive myself .. but all those din work ......I wasnt able to be online for the whole week was becoz i din hve my phone line .. and while all this week , i thot u were angry at mi for not supporting you thus u din came .. and din wan to sms mi .. i mean i dunnoe lor .. coz u so determined for takin the pills and from wht i said u might be hurt for not supprting you ..
but how do u wan mi to support your decision ? i dun wan to encourage you .. but neither i wan to really reject you . it is a dilema there .. i am afriad you get hurt from your decision .. and i knw you are willin to bear the consequences .. and believe mi if there aint any ... i will be the 1st one to rejoice and be able to breathe in relief ... i am really afraid lor ..
and when u din came , i really thought u are angry at me for not supporting your decision.. i wasnt angry at you nor anything the night before .. coz as long as u promise u will take care of yourself , i will believe you ..
you din disappoint mi , but more of disagreein of opinion .. and tht is like no big deal coz different ppl hve different opinions on things .. thus if you choose to go ahead , i can only say nothing ..
do u knw tht on tht day , i wanted to say to you tht " gal ar, take care hor esp when you takin the medicine , i knw you want to go ahead, but you promised to take care okie ? if there is any side effects, consult your doc okie ? "
i so wanted to say tht to you , i keep delayin my departure esp askin all of them for breakfast and everything and keep starin out to check whether you there or not ..
but in the end you din came , i so wan to see your smile for the whole yr .. i so wan to say tok to you , and give you a hug ..
i really miss u ......................................
i am sorry tht i wasnt able to supporting your decision .. but as much i am sorry, i still stick to not supportin you but i definately will not reject your decision .. coz it is your decision .. and with tht , i will not say much .. but as long as you can promised tht you will take care .
[ - 雯'§ - ]
penning down @
3/16/2004 01:13:00 PM
sans amour .. mir ist einsam.....